From the old blog, because I liked it, as a mission statement of sorts:
These old posts by Lisa Harney are excellent. I especially liked this part:
The other problem with this is that it conflates our desire to live our lives with political goals. Real lesbians do not declare themselves lesbian to transgress heteronormative society. Real lesbians declare themselves lesbians because we want to live our lives and not suppress who we are. This does affect our politics, but our politics do not drive this. People who practice BDSM do not practice BDSM as a political statement. They do this because that is the kind of sex they enjoy. We do not choose these things to transgress, but society punishes us for doing so because they are transgressions.
The desire to be able to live as a full person comes first. People adopt transgressive sexual politics in order to oppose the kind of society that sees them as freakish and unworthy. The important thing is to build a decent society where people can live in peace – feminist theory should always be just a means to that end.